Peeps are at World Fantasy Con in New York this weekend, or at Utopiales in Nantes.

Well, y'all can suck it, 'cause I'll be at BitterCon. Who wants to join me?


(graphic by marrael, used with permission; click to embiggen)

Alex Wilson recently wrote up his experiences of being a first-time guest at a convention (and sharing a panel table with George R.R. Martin to boot). He also talks about how specifically Trinoc-con is linked to his friendship with Jamie Bishop; my response to his thoughtfulness was to hijack his comments with my own story about Jamie and Trinoc-con. Oh well.

Here it is:

The first year that I was invited to be a guest (both Jamie and Mike Jasper urged me to contact Dan Reid about it), I pitched a fit because my name and bio had been left out of the program book; I'd had a few small publications at that point and was all full of myself. I mean, goddammit, I was a published author and they had left me out of the program book? Me? The volunteer who endured my wrath shrunk from my egomaniacal ranting and fled as soon as he could.

I saw Jamie almost immediately afterward; he was in the dealer's room helping out his dad with a signing, and seeing that I was in some distress, he pulled up a chair behind the table and asked what was wrong. I told him, and he smiled, as if to say, "That's all?" then rightly pointed out that it had probably just been an innocent mistake, and gave examples of all the ways that his dad had been screwed over (innocently or not) during the course of his literary career, and yet the man was still kind and generous and down to earth. I couldn't let this little stuff get to me, and I certainly couldn't punish other people for it.

While we were sitting there, the guest liaison found me and apologized profusely for my absence in the program book, and I sheepishly told her that it was okay, that I'd overreacted before, it was an innocent mistake. When I later saw the staffer that I'd berated before, a man who was not being paid at all for his help during the convention, I made sure to apologize to him for my behavior.

Jamie brought me back to the real world, as he did many times afterward, and I'll never forget it.

Congratulations to Carlos Abraham for winning the 2007 Jamie Bishop Memorial Award for an Essay Not in English for his essay "Las utopías literarias argentinas en el período 1850-1950" (PDF). The award will be presented along with $250 at ICFA in March 2008.

And if you haven't been to the IAFA website in a while, they've recently revamped, and wow does it look better. Much less cluttered, more functional, easier to navigate. A much-deserved facelift.

Wil Wheaton has a regular column at SuicideGirls called Geek in Review, and today's entry concerns conventions (mildly NSFW), specifically big media cons. He's laid out a list of rules for con-goers, organizers, and guests; the whole thing is worth reading, but this part is probably my favorite:

Rule Five: Don’t be a dick.

This one is for fans and promoters and celebrities alike. If you’re a promoter and you’re just doing whatever you can to separate the fans from their money, you’re a dick. If you’re a guest and and you’re just there to take whatever money you can from the fans without giving them any of your time or energy, you’re a dick. If you’re a fan, and you’re determined to be unhappy no matter what happens at the show, you’re also a dick. There are always fans at conventions who will not be happy no matter what happens, and we’ve all seen them. I will never understand why someone will spend the time and money to go to a show just to be miserable and complain the entire time they are there, but they are certainly a square on convention bingo.

There was a time when the majority of conventions were essentially huge organized parties where fans could gather together, take over a hotel for a weekend, and celebrate the thing they loved, whether it was Star Trek, gaming, or just science fiction and fantasy in general. Somewhere in the last fifteen years or so, though, that began to change. Screening rooms where you could watch everything from a bootleg third generation VHS copy of Akira without subtitles to a Prisoner marathon were phased out in favor of more vendor space. Fans became segregated into “gold” and “silver” and “general admission” groups, with each getting different treatment and levels of access. Celebrity guests refused to pose for photos, and wouldn’t personalize their autographs. (I was once guilty of this, and I deeply regret it. I blame my youth, and I’ve been working to make up for it ever since). It was around 2001 that I noticed that most cons (certainly the Creation cons) had become giant autograph shows, which was great for collectors, but pretty disappointing for everyone else. I know I’m tilting at windmills here, but I’d like to see less gouging of fans and more celebrating with fans. I’d like to see more fan-run cons like LosCon or Penguicon, or shows lke Dallas Comic-Con, with organizers who put the fans first and only invite celebrity guests who have the same philosophy.

I have to say that as much as I love WisCon and World Fantasy and Trinoc*con and ICFA, the most fun I had at a convention last year was at DemiCon in Iowa. I did a few panels, but most of my time was spent enjoying all the other programming items, which included topics as disparate as voice-acting, stand-up comedy and improv, stargazing, tai chi and yoga, belly-dancing bra-embellishment, a blood drive, and performances by The Great Luke Ski, in addition to all the usual geekery. It was so much fun being at a con where I didn't feel as if I had to pimp myself and my career, where I could let go and geek out with fellow enthusiasts. It also helped that since Janet was the Artist GoH, we got treated like royalty; however, the care that went into the planning and execution of the programming made it very clear that this was a con made for fans by fans, that they cared about every single person who walked through the door and not just the guests.

Tangentially, I think "Don't be a dick" is also a good life motto.

Trinoc*con 8 will be kicking off in a about a week and a half, once again at the North Raleigh Hilton. This will be the first year that I won't be attending (I went the first three years as a fanboy and wannabe, and the next four years as a literary guest), and it looks like I'll be missing a great line-up:

George R. R. Martin (Guest of Honor)
Elizabeth Hand (Special Guest)
Dale Bailey
Nathan Ballingrud
Stacey Cochran
John Kessel
K. A. Laity
James Maxey
Sandra McDonald
Scott Nicholson
Stephen Mark Rainey
Warren Rochelle
Edmund R. Schubert
Alexandra Sokoloff
Graham Watkins
Alex Wilson
Allen Wold

Although I won't be there in person, I will be in spirit; Dan Reid, Literary Chair Extraordinaire, asked if I would write a short tribute to Jamie Bishop (500 words), and I happily obliged. It should be appearing on the inside back cover of the program book as "Anamnesis for the Artist," and I'll reprint it on JLdN after the convention is over.

Y'all mix it up in Raleigh for me.

I wrote a thousand words today on a new short story. No idea how long it'll be ultimately (I'll just keep writing until I stop), but it's incredibly personal, shamefully autobiographical, and such a painful subject that I'm not sure I'll ever send it out. I'll just have to see. Writing it is a bit of therapy, getting things out that I just can't talk about aloud, not even to Janet (and I tell Janet everything, even the stuff she really really doesn't want to know about). This may make it the best thing I've written, or the worst. I'll just have to keep writing to find out.

I also made the decision today not to go to WorldCon in Yokohama. It's relatively close, but Janet has no interest in going, and I don't know many other folks who will be attending, and I don't have a book to pimp, and it's a bit expensive. I'm interested in visiting Japan (outside of the airport, that is), but at this point, I think I'd like to do it outside the confines of a skiffy convention. It also takes place at the end of August / beginning of September, and if I manage to find a teaching job, it'll be difficult to justify a holiday to them only a few weeks after the semester starts.

Which means no conventions for Jason this year. Waaugh! Although the Singapore Writers Festival will be on 1-9 December, so there's that, but it won't be quite the same.

It's getting late here, and the BitterCon Kopitiam -- aka the S.S. Weep-Into-Yer-Coffee -- is shutting down for the night. We're on Singapore time here, and it's time for us to turn off the machines and hit the sack.

However, those of you on the other side of the date line can keep on keepin' on. You can attend one of lotusice's fine panel discussions -- "Piss and Moan," "Wail and Gnash," and "Woe, Woe, Woe" -- or hang out with retrobabble in the BitterCon Lounge.

There's always another place available in which to be bitter...

My very talented wife, the super-awesome Janet Chui (aka marrael), has created some graphics for your BitterCon revelry. Feel free to use them (and download them to your own servers, so you don't strain photobucket's bandwidth), but please credit Janet with creating them, and do link them to the BitterCon 2007 page.

Click to embiggen...


And two in convenient icon size:


Enjoy!

A good percentage of my skiffy peeps will be at WisCon this weekend, living it up in the grand city of Madison, discussing issues of race and gender and class, drinking chocolate martinis, and reconnecting after a long absence, most likely since WisCon last year.

And I'm not there.

Sure, Singapore's a grand city in itself, but where are the shops that sell squeaky cheese curds, or lefty political paraphernalia? Janet and I can talk about race and gender and class, but we mostly agree with each other. I could drink a chocolate martini, but it wouldn't be sweet, oh no, it would taste most bitter.

Bitter indeed.

So screw 'em!* We can have our own good times on teh intertubes! We don't need those fun-loving, karaoke-singing, socially-conscious, wonderful people anyway!

All you folks who aren't actually at WisCon this weekend, feel free to join me and wallow in the pity party known as BitterCon 2007.** Aye, we'll feel so sorry for ourselves, that those WisCon attendees won't know what hit 'em.

Who's with me?



*Well, not really. Any WisCon reports will be read with great attention.

**Anyone want to graphically fashion a banner of some sort? Thanks, marrael!

In an email today, 2muchexposition pointed me toward Conflux, since I had previously asked her about skiffy conventions in Australia. It's held in Canberra at the end of September, so it might be a possibility. A quick Google search popped up a few more Aussie cons: Nullus Anxietas, the Aussie Discworld con (Melbourne, February, which we won't be able to make this year); SwanCon (Perth, April); Conjure (Brisbane, April, tho they haven't updated their website for 2007); Convergence, which will host the 2007 NatCon (Melbourne, June). There's also Conspiracy at Wellington, NZ in June, and the more general-audience Brisbane Writers Festival at Brisbane in September.

The only Asian SF con I could find was Nippon 2007 in Yokohama, Japan, which is hosting WorldCon this year.

Does anyone out there know of any other Pacificons (conventions in the Asia-Pacific region) that look attractive? Also, of the ones I mentioned, does anyone have recommendations, or suggestions for ones to avoid? We won't have a lot of money travel this year, but I would like to go to at least one convention, and if we don't make it to WorldCon, I'd like to know where else we could go to hang out with the tribe.

Many of my online and offline friends are off this weekend in the wilds of Austin, Tejas (does Austin have wilds?), having a wonderful time at World Fantasy Con, and once again I'm stuck at BitterCon 2006, although there are some very nice people here with me. :)


BitterCon 2006 banner by clarkesworld

I'm not sure how many conventions I'll be going to from now on. Things are still up in the air as to when we're making the big move, but right now we're thinking some time in the Spring, maybe even earlier. This might mean missing WisCon, which would break my heart (or at least squeeze it roughly), especially since Kelly is one of the G's of H this year. We definitely won't be here for Trinoc*con, which is disappointing to Janet, since GRRM is the Literary GoH. We might be able to swing WorldCon in Yokohama, since we'll definitely be in the region at that point, though wow, attending membership is US$220 per person; we'll have to see about that one.

Anyway, there are things to do and see this weekend. Ventriloquist Jeff Dunham (along with Peanut, Walter, and Jose Jalapeno on a Stick) is playing at Goodnight's. The annual International Festival will be going on at the state fairgrounds. And I may be participating again in NaDruWriNi:



Last year's entries were amusing and fun, and a clear indication that I can no longer hold my liquor, so why not do it again?

Three links:

"Meaty Arguments," an extract from The Bloodless Revolution, Tristram Stuart's remarkable history of vegetarianism.

Copper, a beautifully drawn and written webcomic by Kazu Kibuishi. Some of these stories have almost brought me to tears. (via Chrononautic Log)

And Teresa Nielsen Hayden details "how to throw a large room party at a science fiction convention." Everything you'd ever want to know. Really.

Janet has just posted some of our DemiCon photos, starting here. Naturally, the ones of me were taken by Janet, and the ones of Janet were taken by me. This one is probably my favorite.

You can also find some more DemiCon photos by other folks here, including some great shots of the costumes.

Yesterday morning, we had breakfast in the hotel restaurant again (got a yummy omelette this time, as did Janet), then we took a quick tour of the dealers' room. Most of the dealer tables showcased fannish merch (since the convention was definitely aimed more toward fandom), including anime DVDs, action figures, RPG sourcebooks, miniatures, geeky t-shirts, and tabletop games. There were a few dealers that actually carried books, and Janet picked up a hardcover copy of The Mammoth Book of Comic Fantasy for only $5.00. We were passing the tarot deck table, and my eye was caught by the gorgeous Lo Scarabeo Golden Tarot of Klimt, which uses artwork inspired by Gustav Klimt (and looks really close to the original work), foil-embossed on every card; the woman selling the different decks was out of new sealed decks, so she sold us the display copy (which was almost brand new anyway) for a 20% discount.

At noon, Janet had a panel, "How to Commission Art, Get Commissions, or Work on Commissions," and she did a kick-ass job moderating. I was so proud of her (and got some photos too; hopefully we'll upload them to Flickr in the next couple of days). She did a great job explaining the art commission process (along with the other panelists, Mike Cole and Elaine Cason), from both sides.

We then headed upstairs for "Comedy Music: The New Alternative!" with The Great Luke Ski (I keep wanting to type Lukeski) and Eric Coleman. It got a bit intense when an audience member started arguing that Dr. Demento (who has often featured Luke Ski on his show) shouldn't charge $2.00 for each online weekly episode, but Lukeski (I don't care, I'm spelling it this way) did a good job explaining why this is (Dr. Demento has to pay for the music he plays on his shows, and more and more radio stations aren't syndicating the program anymore, so this was the lowest he could charge and still make a decent living, and it seems that the fans are willing to pay $8/week to support the good doctor in his passion). He played a bunch of extracts from some of the parody music out there right now, including Power Salad's "My Cat is Afraid of the Vacuum Cleaner" and Lemon Demon's "Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny." We had to duck out a little early to head down for Janet's second panel, and got down to the grand ballroom as the game of Gyparody was finishing up.

Once they finished, chairs and a paper easel were brought up for "Win, Lose or Draw" (which was a lot like Pictionary), featuring five of the artist guests. The clues were books, TV shows, or movies, and man, they sure picked some obscure ones (at least to me). It was a fun game, and though Janet placed fourth, she got some tough ones, and did a good job.

After that was the closing ceremonies, which we also had to leave prematurely in order to get Janet's art taken down at the Art Show. She didn't sell any originals, which was a disappointment, but she did fairly well with the prints she brought (including many matted ones), breaking the $100 mark. After we got her all taken care of, we brought the art up to the hotel room, and watched a bit of an excellent global warming special that Tom Brokaw hosted for The Discovery Channel.

Around 4:30, we headed down to the lobby to meet up with folks for dinner at Baratta's Restaurant, about ten minutes away by car, and smack dab in the middle of a residential neighborhood. The food was pretty good (if a little dry; I had the chicken), the dessert was incredibly luscious (chocolate and raspberry cheesecake), and the conversation was interesting (even if it seemed to revolve around other DemiCon years, or other regional conventions). Before we knew it, the bill arrived, and it was 8:00.

We headed back to the hotel, and rested up in the room for a bit, watching cable TV we don't get at home (because we choose not to). Around 9:30, we walked down a floor to the con suite and the Dead Dog Party, which was amazingly fun. Janet and I got to talk to the incredibly nice Gay Haldeman, whom we hadn't met before, and we swapped Clarion stories and discussed Floridian lepidoptera. Janet sipped on a sweet cherry-flavored Amana cordial (made in Iowa), while I nursed a 7-Up (I'd had enough alcohol the night before, and am not the party animal I used to be). There was still a good amount of delicious food, including ginger cookies, veggies, cheese, and some decadent truffles made with Drambuie and Ghirardelli chocolate. (The food in the suite over the whole weekend was excellent; there were even baked potatoes last night.)

At one point, a 1979 Imported Vin Rosé was opened out of curiosity. (We were informed that rosé wine has a shelf life of something like six months, so it was way beyond the point where it was drinkable). The bottle was painted a rusty brown color, and the wine turned out to be about the same hue. After so long in the bottle, it had become carbonated, and the cork was actually rising from the bottle as they were attempting to extricate it. After pouring out a bit and passing it around for several people to sample, I took a sip, and it wasn't that bad.

We lasted until around 1:30 a.m. or so, and several conversation topics included Queen of Sheba soul cake, chocogasms (in which one simultaneously holds Irish whiskey and dark chocolate in the mouth and then inhales sharply (but not too much or one might choke on the whiskey and chocolate), producing a euphoric sensation where the alcohol fumes carry the scent of the chocolate into the sinuses), buying one-eighth of a carcass, the groovy arts scene in Iowa City, and the monolithic achievements of Freezerhenge, Carhenge and Cadillac Ranch. After going back to the room, we packed and watched a bit of An American President (a film I am compelled to watch whenever it is on television).

This morning, we woke early and met Megan Harper (the guest liaison) in the lobby at 8:00 to check out of the hotel and drive to the airport. (A quick aside: Megan was incredible this weekend, checking in with us often to make sure we were having a good time and eating well and basically taking care of anything we needed. She was awesome.) A quick drive to the airport, and after saying goodbye to Megan, we got checked in fairly quickly. Pastries and coffee in the small food court on this side of security, then through security and down to the gate. Our flight to Chicago O'Hare was actually delayed by a half hour (due to, we learned later, some safety and mechanical issues), and I was worried we'd have a repeat of our trip west. None of the American Airlines desks were staffed, and not a single gate held a waiting airplane. As 9:45 approached and our plane wasn't even there yet, I started getting anxious. But thankfully, it arrived about five minutes later, and they rushed everyone aboard so we could take off quickly. We got to O'Hare about an hour later, at 11:15, rushed through one concourse to another, found our connecting gate (where people were already lining up to board), grabbed a quick takeaway bagel sandwich from a stall next to the gate, then got on board and found our seats. We got home to Raleigh around 2:45.

Despite the air travel irritations (Janet and I are fairly certain we won't be flying American anytime again soon), we had a wonderful time this weekend. Everyone on the con staff was incredibly helpful, friendly and welcoming, including the ConCom (Greg Abba, Mike Anderson and Diane Dunlap), who made us feel part of the DemiCon family even though it was only our first time there (and to Iowa, for that matter). Again, big props to Megan Harper for doing such a good job checking up on us and including us in conversations when we held back a bit; Megan will be ConCom next year, and I have the feeling she'll do a great job. And thanks Mandi Arthur, for her mad program scheduling skills, and to Heather McBride for her help with the Art Show, and for making Janet feel all important (which was richly deserved, imho).

So if anyone reading this lives in the Midwest and wants to hang out with a gathering of groovy geeks sometime next May, I highly recommend DemiCon. Lots and lots of fun.

Dude! The Great Luke Ski is effing awesome! I haven't laughed so hard in a looooooooong time. Damn!

If you ever get a chance to see this guy, do it. I don't know what was more disturbing: all of the geeky media references he was tossing out, or the amount that I understood.

And to help him in his goal of not having to get a day job, we bought two of his CDs, Uber Geek and Unconventional.

Awesome awesome show. Woo!

Slept in a bit this morning, missing the Farmer's Market, then got breakfast in the hotel restaurant (one of three). Janet had a panel at 11 a.m. on "Self-Publishing Your Art," though I went to Tadao Tomomatsu's "Voice-Over Class," which was very interesting; he went through the various steps in voiceover auditions and had some folks come up to the microphone and try their hand (though I wussed out).

Next was my first panel, "Small Publishing Companies," along with Melanie Rosen Alderson, chief editor at Laruso Publishing. I blathered on about Two Cranes Press and the pleasures and perils of forming a small press, and somehow managed to be coherent.

Next, in the same room, was the "Talk with the Guests of Honor," where Janet shared the front of the room with Tadao (who gave us some groovy "Shake Hands Fan" ribbons before the panel, which is awesome for a fan of the Banzai television show), Ted Poovey & Darice Schirber-Poovy, and Rusty Havelin (who moderated, and who flirted a bit with Janet). (We found out yesterday that Frederik and Betty Pohl had to cancel at the last minute because she was recovering from knee surgery and he was fighting a persistent cough. Though he did do a phone-in kaffeeklatch this morning.) Janet did a great job talking about her artistic influences and introduction into genre painting.

Then we had to run upstairs for the Podcasting panel, which I was on with Joe Struss and Alan Koslow. Though the room was too warm (which was quite different from the rest of the hotel, which has been cold cold cold), and I felt like I talked too much, and too loudly, and gesticulated to wildly, it turned out pretty well (and Janet said I wasn't as spastic as I thought I was). I found out that several universities are podcasting their classes now, and that Botar's Old Time Radio is podcasting old radio shows like The Shadow and Green Hornet.

After that, we came back up to the room and ordered room service for a late lunch (did I mention that the convention is feeding us too? These people just absolutely rock): Thai fried noodles for me, and Radiatore pasta for Janet, and New York style cheesecake for dessert.

I watched some TV (Mythbusters, baby) and got caught up on email while Janet took a nap. At 7:30, we went down to the ballroom for the Masquerade, which was full of interesting and inventive costumes; the Llamatron costume was unbelievable, with all sorts of moving parts and cybernetic doodads affixed to the stilted backward-knees llama costume (stilted, as in the guy was on stilts).

The great Luke Ski's concert is in 15 minutes. I'd never heard of him, but Janet's a big fan.

And then there's parties tonight (our room is actually on the party floor, so I don't know how much sleep we'll get tonight), as well as free booze in the con suite (yay free booze!).

Tomorrow Janet has two panels, at noon and then 2:00. More later.

We made it safely to Des Moines, though quite a bit later than we were expecting. The flight from RDU to La Guardia went smoothly and without incident, and we arrived in New York around 3:15 yesterday afternoon. Our next flight was supposed to leave at 6:00 EDT and arrive in Des Moines at 8:00 CDT. Instead, we left at 11:15 EDT and arrived at 1:00 a.m. CDT. Here's why.

Our plane was supposed to arrive from Detroit around 5:30, but because of the enormous weather system that started in the Midwest and moved steadily east, flights were being cancelled all over the board. As we sat in the horribly unbelievably boring American Eagle terminal at LGA, we kept hearing more and more flights cancelled, to Chicago, to Charlotte, to Cleveland. Our plane still hadn't left Detroit by 6:00, and they were announcing that it wouldn't get in until 8:00. During all of that time (remember, we'd been there since 3:15), we read the books and zines we'd brought, and Janet finished hers (How Would a Patriot Act? by Glenn Greenwald). Every so often, we would take turns walking up and down the cramped terminal choked with more and more passengers without flights. Then, at 7:00, a miracle: an announcement that we'd gotten a new plane, and that we'd be boarding in 15 minutes. We hurried onboard, ready to go go go, thinking okay, it's only an hour later than we'd planned, that's not so bad, and we taxied out onto the runaway, and then sat there. And sat there. And sat there. We were told by the captain that we were 25th in the queue, which meant it would be about another hour until we could take off. So we sat in those tiny seats in that tiny plane, and read the free magazines in the seat pocket. Around 9:00, I walked up to the flight attendant and asked if there was any chance I could get a snack, since Janet and I hadn't eaten since 4:00, and she told me all they had were snack packages for $4.00. At that point I didn't care, so I bought two (with crackers, spreadable cheese, raisins, and breakfast bar) and got some ginger ale, and brought it all back to the seat. The jet we were on was only slightly bigger than a soda can, and I had to hunch over just to walk down the aisle. The flight attendant asked if other people wanted drinks as well, and started serving them.

At 10:00, we headed back to the gate, since we had burned up so much fuel just waiting on the tarmac that we needed to refuel. Afterward, we headed back out again and sat there. By that point, the stewardess started giving out the snack packages for free, and she refunded my money. I called my sister Kristin (who lives in Brooklyn) on my cell phone and told her what was going on. She looked at The Weather Channel and weather.com and told me that everything west of Jersey was clear, but that New York was a field of yellow and red. She offered her apartment if we had to stay the night. (I'd overheard the stewardess telling another passenger that the airport closed at 11:30, so if we weren't in the air by then, we'd have to turn back and arrange flights the next morning.) I was ready to just say, "Screw this, let me off the damn plane," but every so often the engines would power up, getting our hopes up. Flight windows opened and closed, we could see other planes landing and taking off, and our frustration grew to intolerable levels.

Then, finally, at 11:15, 15 minutes before we would have to turn back to the gate, we were told that we were at the front of the queue, and that we had a narrow window, and that we were taking it. When we finally lifted off, I was too exhausted to clap, but I wanted to. It was 4 hours since we had gotten onboard, 5 hours from when we were supposed to have left, and 8 hours since we had originally arrived in New York.

Up in the clouds, we were treated to an astonishing lightning show, flickering and sputtering within the clouds, beautiful and terrifying. It seemed far enough away, but still dangerously close. But we flew past, and into the darkness of night. The rest of the way to Des Moines was uneventful, and I tried to sleep as much as I could. The small children sitting in the row behind us never made a sound. We got to Des Moines around 1 a.m., which was 2 a.m. by our body clocks. We were fully expecting to take a shuttle or taxi to the hotel, but waiting for us outside baggage claim was Greg Abba, the DemiCon hotel liason and guy in charge of finances (who bought our plane tickets). Janet and I were both astonished that someone had waited for us, but Greg was matter of fact that they like to meet their guests at the airport for this convention.

We were very lucky to make it to Des Moines last night, and it's incredibly unfortunate that so many other people were not able to arrive at their destinations because of the weather.

Greg drove us to the Hotel Fort Des Moines and got us checked in. (The hotel is a historic landmark, exisiting now for over a century, and guest to presidents, foreign leaders, and royalty, such as the Crown Prince and Princess of Denmark, who visited in the 1940s and brought along 70 pieces of luggage.) We went up to the room and collapsed.

The morning, we slept in until 10 a.m., and, too tired still to go downstairs for breakfast, we ordered room service, which was delicious. Around 11:30, we took Janet's artwork downstairs, and after getting checked in and meeting toastmaster Tadao Tomomatsu (Mr. Shake Hands Man), we went to the Art Show and got her all set up. The room is enormous, bigger than any other art show we've been to, and is full of natural light from the walls of windows. She got two prime three-panel spots facing the front door (I took some photos), and put out all her prints on a nearby table. After setting everything up, and filling out all the forms, it was 1:15 when we were done. The volunteers in the Art room were very welcoming and incredibly friendly. In fact, everyone associated with the convention has been wonderful so far, making us feel welcome (including a nice fruit basket in the hotel room, with tea and chocolate also), and treating Janet like a queen.

After finishing the set up, we got a map of downtown Des Moines from the front desk, and set out on the city's Skywalk, four miles worth of second-storey glass enclosed and climate-controlled walkway system that winds through downtown. Along the way, we window-shopped and hunted for food, but it appeared, at 2:30, that most places were closed, which seemed really weird to me. We ended up stopping at a Bruegger's Bagels at Kaleidoscope At The Hub so Janet could eat something (I was still full from the massive Belgian waffles I'd eaten this morning). While talking to the redheaded employee who was making Janet's sandwich (Leonardo da Veggie), we found out that the Farmer's Market takes place on Saturdays at 4th Street. Also in the same area tomorrow night is 515 Alive, an annual urban music and art festival which she told us was always a lot of fun.

"Also," she said, "if you're not doing anything tonight, we've got a fight club in the alleys behind that neighborhood."

"A real fight club?"

"Yeah, like in the book. It's me and some of my girl friends, and we get together and fight. We might invite some guys someday, but right now it's just girls. Though there are some skinny spindly guys that I know I could take."

"Have you been doing this long?"

"We're starting it up again after not doing it for a few years. Everyone's really excited and nervous, not wanting to get their teeth punched out."

"You could get some mouthguards."

"Yeah, but it's kind of a pain in the ass to get them by tonight, so we'll probably just use some cotton padding. Man, I haven't been in a good fight in such a long time."

"Well, good luck."

After Janet finished her bagel sandwich, and I talked about how I was going to blog this encounter, we walked back to the hotel. Janet watched some TV and took a nap, and I distributed the VanderSwag I'd brought.

Opening ceremonies are at 7 p.m. tonight, followed by a theatrical mashup performance of Serendipity, and a panel on "Stand Up Comedy 101." There's also a fiction contest based on Rod Serling's "Night Gallery," where we have to write a short short (1,000 words or less) telling the story of one of the paintings in the Art Show, due by tomorrow night; Janet's involved in a walkthrough as part of this contest, and I'm thinking of entering.

It looks as if there are a lot of interesting things planned, including panels on yoga, tai chi, performing voice-overs, and a concert with the great Luke Ski. There is stuff planned well into the nights, and it looks like a lot of fun.

More later.

This year's Trinoc*con was pretty fun, although I feel as if I was barely there. Since we didn't have a dealer's table this year, there wasn't as much incentive to stick around, especially since we could jump in the car and be at home in ten minutes. But the panels were fairly interesting.

I talked to Brett Cox briefly in the hallway Saturday morning, and he called me "quite the publishing mogul," which I would disagree with (simply on the basis of our output), but it was nice of him to say. He also asked if there were any copies left of Off the Map, and I told him that we were all out, only to remember later that I still have two signed copies left that I'm planning to sell at Second Chance Book Adoption (so I'll need to email him about that).

My own panels (or, rather, the panels I happened to be on) were well-attended, and I managed to contribute. sailormur did a great job moderating the podcasting panel (and I regret not hanging out with her more at the con), and we talked about the ins and outs of podcasting. marrael said that I was pimping myself too much, though I couldn't tell at the time (it felt like the right amount to me, but what do I know?). Jim Kelly was excited to hear that I'll be podcasting Jeff VanderMeer's "Flight Is For Those Who Have Not Yet Crossed Over" and my review of Shriek: An Afterword as a lead-up to the movie showing in August.

The "Writer as Social Critic" panel went extremely well (and marrael said I did much better on it), as I expected it would with such groovy people as Jim Grimsley, Kathryn Cramer, Keith Ferrell, aleighjones, and K.A. Laity joining me behind the table. David Hartwell took the photo below (as reported in Locus Blinks this morning), providing the only photographic evidence that I was even at the convention (though by accident, I'm sure, since he seemed to be aiming his lens at Jim), as we all listened to Audra's brilliant musings on social criticism and politics.


l to r: K.A. Laity, Jim Grimsley, Jason Erik Lundberg
photo by David Hartwell

My reading was in a room-sized refrigerator down the hall, attended by andreas_black, lunablack and andyhat, whom I thank once again for their support. My reading slot was with Mark Van Name, but he seemed to be under the idea that it was two half-hour slots instead of a shared hour slot, so he and his family didn't come into the room until I was halfway through my second story ("Stuck"; "The Artists Pentaptych" was the first). So when I had finished, I left the room, and went next door to marrael's only panel, on using traditional painting techniques in digital art. We stuck around for the next one as well, on "Art Beyond Digital." We then went to the Liars Panel, moderated by Gene Wolfe (before which I got him to autograph my copy of Strange Birds), and cracked up as he, David Hartwell, Greg Frost, Bud Webster and Jim Grimsley hurled bad puns and outrageous lies at each other and at the audience (though I'm glad it only lasted for a half-hour; we got kicked out by one of the hotel staff members who needed the room, but by that point I'd had enough anyway).

We went home after that, since there was nothing on the program that night, except for some room parties, and we were both exhausted. On Sunday, we got there around 2:00 to gather up marrael's paintings from the Art Show (she only sold four "Book Monster" prints; Trinoc*con, more than any other con we go to, is historically stingy in terms of art purchases, though I'm sure part of it was also the state of the economy right now). While we did so, Patrick Meadows, the Artist GoH, told marrael how impressed he was with her work (as did several other artists, writers and fans this weekend).

So that was Trinoc*con. We're now preparing for DemiCon 17 this coming weekend, where Janet will be Artist Guest of Honor. If anyone lives near Des Moines, please come on down and say hello.

Got Janet set up at the Art Show, then went to Bear Rock for a quick bite.

Came home, because the interesting stuff doesn't start until 5:00, opened up the Shriek party kit from JeffV, and discovered way more promotional material that can be used at the viewing next month. So I'll be bringing some of it for the freebies table at Trinoc*con; if you want Jeff VanderMeer swag, be on the lookout.

Oh, and I figured out what I'll be reading tomorrow: "The Artists Pentaptych" [Read | Listen] (published in Lone Star Stories, nominated for the Fountain Award, finalist in the 2004 NCSU Short-Short Story Contest), and "Stuck" (as-yet unpublished). I haven't read "Stuck" in front of an audience yet, so this will be a good chance.

Update: Planted the swag, and also picked up a free copy of the December 2005 issue of F&SF, which features a novelette by Geoff Ryman called "The Last Ten Years of Hero Kai."

In the dealer's room, I picked what I'm swearing to be my only purchases at Trinoc*con: Alchemy no. 3, and Strange Birds by Gene Wolfe & Lisa Snellings-Clark.

If you're in the Raleigh area, this coming weekend will be packed full of Trinoc*con goodness. Janet and I are guests again this year (though we won't have a dealer's table), so walk up and say hi. And because they're hosting DeepSouthCon 44 this year, they've assembled a kick-ass group of participants, including John Kessel and Gene Wolfe (two of my literary heroes), David Hartwell, Dale Bailey, Greg Frost, and many others.

The pocket program guide is now online, and here's my own schedule:

Fri. 8 PM, Boxwood: Meet the Guests
A mixer for all guests and members of Trinoc*con. Open to everyone!

Sat. 11 AM, Judicial: Podcasting Authors
Sounds like a band that would play in one of the clubs in "Coming Attraction". But they're popping up all over. What's it all about?
Davey Beauchamp, James Patrick Kelly, Mur Lafferty (M), Jason Erik Lundberg, Jana Oliver

Sat. 1 PM, Judicial: Writer as Social Critic
Fiction, even SF, maybe especially SF, can inspire and propel positive social change (you define "positive"). True statement or not? Should it even be true?
Kathryn Cramer, Jim Grimsley (M), A. Leigh Jones, K.A. Laity, Jason Erik Lundberg

Sat. 3 PM, Oakwood: Reading
Mark L. Van Name, Jason Erik Lundberg

The video schedule also looks interesting (i.e., not just 48 hours of anime, though there is some), including "Think Like a Dinosaur" (The Outer Limits, based on a short story by James Patrick Kelly), "Homecoming" (Masters of Horror, based on a short story by Dale Bailey), and The Delicate Art of the Rifle (featuring John Kessel in a supporting role as Dr. Maxwell T. Boaz).

Hope to see some of y'all there!